2012 Comes to an End

     2012 has been one of the best years of my life. I met the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful, woman that I've ever seen and luckily she thinks highly of me too! We are engaged and will be getting married in 2014!
     She also got a house and we are slowly but surely turning it into our home. I don't technically live there full time, but I consider it my home. They say that home is where the heart is and frankly, my heart is here in Cuyahoga Falls with her.
     I've also gotten more work and have begun building my in house production studio. It's not a lot now, but in time, I will have everything I need to get started.
   I have a great job and a great woman. I have so much to be thankful and this all happened to me within a year!

     I'm very excited for this Holiday Season, as I am every year. I love the traditions and the love. Christmas is such a nice time of year and I love the fact that I get to spend it with the most important people in my life. I have such a great family and group of friends. I feel like I don't deserve the blessings I have.
   
     As 2012 comes to a close, I am starting to think of 2013. My fiance doesn't like to have New Year's Resolutions; she likes to have goals for that year. I like the idea because you're working for something instead of stopping something like most NY Resolutions do.

Here are my goals for 2013!

Complete Power 90
Complete P90X
Build Production Studio and start company
Get 3 gigs a week Djing
Learn to control my temper
Cut Fast Food down to once a week
Plan Wedding
Be more positive
Be the best I can be to my fiance
Be the best I can be to family and friends
Finish first draft of my book
Be more greatful

I may add on to this list before the end of the year, but this is a start. As my fiance puts it, it's a list of goals, so obviously I will achieve some of them, but I may not achieve them all. She doesn't always make all her goals but she doesn't put herself down when she doesn't make them all. That's why I put one of my goals as be more positive. That will be my big one. As long as I am working towards my goals I will be happy.

Do you have any New Year's Goals for 2013? If so, what are they?

Good Luck!

Scotch Wiskey 101: Part One of a Series on Scotch Wiskey

Drinking scotch is easy, right? You just pour some into a glass and drink, the end. While that may be true, you probably won't get much enjoyment out of it. This series of articles will give you everything you need to enjoy one of the world's oldest, most refined, and popular drinks.

Read More

Time Flies By When You Don't Feel Like Blogging

Well I did it. I asked her to marry me. She said yes. Most of you would probably assume that that would make me the happiest guy in the world right now. Most of the time you shouldn't assume because it makes an ass out of my Hawaiian friend, Ume. However, your assumption this time would be correct.

I did it. I get to someday wake up every morning next to the love of my life. Cheesy, I know, but true nevertheless. My whole family loves her and hopefully her family can stand being around me. Everyone was very excited and only one person said anything mean. He commented on the engagement on facebook. Apparently he is in the middle of some marriage issues himself. Don't worry friends, I ripped him a new one! I may soon belong to a woman, but she won't cut my balls off!

Kind of a weird post? Yeah I know, I just felt like I should let you know about what's going on and all.

Peace and Love!

Sunny Days

In a little under a week I will be going on my family's annual vacation to Ludington, MI. I wasn't able to go last year because of work. I am in need of this vacation.

Ludington is a very special place to my family. My dad found the place when he was a kid and we've gone every year since.

Ludington is a very small beach town, tucked away in its own little corner of Lake Michigan. Our family gets cottages. It's a very nice, relaxing time.

The big part of it this year is that I am bringing my girlfriend up. I've never brought a girl up there before, so I am very excited.

I know this was a simple post but I felt like I should make an update.

Peace and Love

We Are Young Remix by "Fun" feat "Notorious B.I.G." and "2pac"

We Are Young Remix by "Fun" feat "Notorious B.I.G." and "2pac"

We Are Young Mashup

We Are Young: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Are_Young
Juicy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juicy_(The_Notorious_B.I.G._song)
Only Fear of Death: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R_U_Still_Down%3F_(Remember_Me)

Intergalactic Come Baby Come

Intergalactic Come Baby Come

This is a DJ mashup of "Intergalactic" and "Come Baby Come"

"Intergalactic" is a Grammy-winning song by American hip-hop group the Beastie Boys, released as the first single from their fifth studio album Hello Nasty on May 12, 1998.

"Come Baby Come" is a song by rapper K7 of freestyle group TKA, from his debut album Swing Batta Swing.

It's Time to Bring the Ascot Back!

Gentlemen,

As most of you already know, the fashion world is full of options for the ladies out there, but we men don't have a lot of choices. If we want to look nice, our only real choice of neckwear is the tie. Now don't get my wrong, I love ties, but sometimes I just want to do something a little different. Sometimes, I want to stand out from the rest of the crowd. The ascot has been around for a very long time and it's due for a comeback.

Now, if you are one of those guys who goes out and wears nothing but his striped "getting laid" shirt as Louis C.K. would put it, then this post is not for you. You should stick to your lame shirt, jeans, and spikey hair combo. It's worked in the past, right?

This post is for the fashion oriented. The men out there who are tired of looking lame. The men who want to take risks. The men who want to stand out as wolves among the sheep of mediocrity. If, when going out, you see a sea of button downs and jeans that make you sick, read on.

First things first. A little about ascots.

 Formal Ascot

Wikipedia, states that the ascot tie is, "a narrow neckband with wide pointed wings, traditionally made of pale grey patterned silk. This wide, formal tie is usually patterned, folded over, and fastened with a stickpin or tie tack. It is usually reserved for wear with morning dress for formal daytime weddings and worn with a cutaway morning coat and striped grey trousers. This type of dress cravat is made of a thicker, woven type of silk similar to a modern tie and is traditionally either grey or black.

Now, I know you're thinking, "how do I put one of these on without looking like a complete tool?" Well, the answer is simple.  In America we refer to a cravat as an ascot, but clearly this isn't the kind we want.

Al Pacino as Michael Corleone

We want what's referred to as a "day cravat." Good old Wikipedia refers to the day cravat as, "The simple knot, with the Ascot inside the shirt." Yes, Fred from Scooby-Doo. However, not all ascot wearing men look lame. Michael Corleone, for instance.

Anyone who has worn as ascot before will tell you that they give you a more refined look. They also say that they are more comfortable than ties. Plus, they are a small way to add a little color to an otherwise bland outfit.



Before we get into specifics, lets learn how to tie our ascot. To the right is a simple picture explaining the knot. It's pretty easy. All you have to do is start to tie a tie, then stop about halfway through.

Ascot with Vest

Now, let's consider how to pull one off. The simplest and most thought of way is paired with a suit. It's old school and classic for a reason, because it works. My only thought would be to wear one with a three piece suit. That way, you don't have a ton blank shirt showing if you open your jacket up. Plus, the vest will help keep our collar in place. My only issue with the picture to the left, is that they have it paired with a tux shirt. My rule of thumb is, if you aren't wearing a tux, don't wear a tux shirt. You're taking a risk with an ascot, don't mess it up with a stupid looking shirt. Not to mention, if you ARE wearing a tux, you should
                                                   be tying your ascot in the formal way.

I Personally Like This One

For those of us who want to wear it out and about sans suit, switch out the pants and jacket with jeans. I still like the vest though. It allows you to tuck your shirt in without looking like an idiot.

A point of style. Remember, you will be wearing something different, so please play it down. You probably don't want to wear a bright red one. You'll look pretentious. Trying getting a nice soft pattern with subdued colors. I saw a guy wearing a white one the other day, too and it looked really dumb. Why wear a white ascot with a white shirt? No one even knows you have it on.

Remember to wear it with confidence, but don't walk around like a douche. The best way to pull it off, is to act like you aren't even wearing it. Believe me, people will notice.

A lot of celebrities are sporting ascots now. Ashton Kutcher, David Beckham, and Jeremy Piven have all been seen out and about with their day cravats.

If you want to know wear to buy ascots, try your local suit store. They may not have them in store, but they could probably order them for you. They will probably be a bit pricey though. I have found a ton of good ascots on amazon, including all of the ones pictured above, for around $20. (Just click on the caption if you want to get one of those)

The ascot is a way to get away from the boring ways of dress. If you have the confidence and swagger to pull it off, you should put it on with pride. Walk away from the doldrums of mediocrity and join the club of men with style.

Please, let me know if you have tried sporting an ascot and how it's worked for you.

You've Made Lent a Joke

In today’s newspaper there was an article on Ash Wednesday, beginning the Lenten season. After a short introduction, the newspaper printed what a few readers were “giving up” for Lent.

I was completely appalled with some of the answers. Over the years, Christians have moved away from the true heart of the Lenten season and I fear some have forgotten what it’s all about.

Why do we celebrate Lent?

According to Catholic.com, of which the world’s leading apologists explain the Catholic Catechism, “Lent is the 40 days before Easter in which Catholics pray, fast, contemplate, and engage in acts of spiritual self-discipline. Catholics do these things because Easter, which celebrates the Resurrection of Christ, is the greatest holy day of the Christian year (even above Christmas) and Catholics have recognized that it is appropriate to prepare for such a holy day by engaging in such disciplines."¹

When I was going to school and throughout most of my life, I was taught that you should try and give something that you love up for Lent. I’ve noticed that most people give up sweets. I never did for two reasons. One, not eating sweets for 40 Days would require as much discipline for me as not eating tofu. Two, my birthday is always in Lent. I want my one slice of cake. It seems silly to give something up for essentially one day right? The main reason people practice some type of abstinence, is because they want to sort of force themselves into a kind of small suffering in penance for their sins and to prepare themselves spiritually for Easter.

Besides the Days of Obligation, of which we are required to fast, the Church doesn’t have any laws on abstinence during Lent. They just suggest it. That’s where the problem lies. Now am I saying that the Church should force us all to give up something for Lent? No, not at all, but the lack of guidelines really allow people to search for loopholes.

In today’s paper and all around me in general, I hear about people choosing not to give something up. Instead, they insist that they are going to focus on a positive instead of a negative. They say that they are going to concentrate on being nicer or more understanding. They say that giving things up makes them miserable and that it makes their lives difficult. Isn’t that the point? Aren’t you supposed to suffer a little? If you really believe that Jesus was beaten to pulp and nailed to a cross to die for your sake, then don’t you think you deserve to sacrifice a tiny bit? I mean it’s only 40 measly days.

The stuff you people give up is a joke, too. It was ok to give up chocolate when you were six. Now that you are forty-seven, it’s sad. Someone said that they are only going to eat sugar free popsicles, because giving up all popsicles would kill them. That person was fifty-five years old.  Try growing a set and giving up coffee or alcohol. You know grownup things.

Another thing I have noticed is this “cheating” on Sunday’s thing. Apparently, since we don’t count the Sunday’s in Lent, that means we don’t have to keep up our personal penance. I really want to curse here. Once again, why are we trying to find loopholes? I can give anything up for a week if I know that I can indulge on Sunday. We aren’t really challenging ourselves at all. Instead, we're doing as little as we can without looking bad. Seriously, it’s 40 days. That’s it.

Now I am far from the best Catholic, I will be the first to tell you that. However, I feel like I’m the only person who sees the point of Lent. The Lenten season is a time of sacrifice. It’s a time of preparation. It’s a time to really deepen yourself spiritually. If you are constantly looking for the easy way out, then you’ll never get very far. If you are going to do anything for Lent, sacrifice something. Actually do it. Sacrifice something that’ll be difficult to live without. Sacrifice something that will force you to dig down deep and beg for strength. After all, you believe He did that for you. Lent is a time for penance, not a time for New Year’s resolutions.

1: Catholic Answers, "Why do Catholics practice fasting and abstinence during Lent?" (San Diego: Catholic Answers, 2001)


Image: luigi diamanti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Beer Review: NOLA / Stone Pour Me Somethin' Mistah!

I have been super excited for the NOLA/Stone collaboration. Unfortunately, it probably won't ever show up in Ohio. Eric over at The BR Beer Scene was kind enough to let me show you guys his review of it.

So here it is!

Beer Review: NOLA / Stone Pour Me Somethin' Mistah!

Alright, finally the big day had arrived... not that I was turning a whopping 32, but the release of the NOLA Brewing / Stone Brewing collaboration beer, Pour Me Somethin' Mistah.  Appropriate for any big New Orleans beer release, the party was taking place at Avenue Pub, my New Orleans beer bar of choice.  The release was announced back in mid January, so it had a month of hype building up to it.  After a quick early lunch at Cochon Butcher (delicious) it was over to the pub to wait for 1 PM to hit and the beers to start pouring. 

While waiting, the balcony bar had a few tasty warm-up brews, so it was the right time to check out the Saint Arnold Bitter Belgian, a very nice Belgian take on their Elissa IPA.  Not a bad beer and a great way to get the day started.  I followed that up with the NOLA 7th Street Wheat with grains of paradise and orange peel on cask and then it was time for the showpiece beer, the Pour Me Somethin Mistah.  

 

The first hint at the beer came from The Beer Buddha, who brought one out and immediately made a face like it wasn't rocking his world.  Uh oh... not a good start.  Dan brought one out for me, and my first taste was the same reaction.  It was still really cold, and tasted like an over-hopped porter, out of balance and not as rich and complex as I was hoping.  Damn.  Fortunately, I still had some cask 7th Street Wheat so I finished that while letting the Pour Me Somethin Mistah warm up a bit.  

 

Pour Me Somethin' Mistah, and 7th Street Wheat on cask.

Letting the beer warm was a great decision, as it really opened up and turned into quite the drinkable porter closer to room temperature.  The orange peel and molasses started come out in the flavor and the hops took more of a back seat to those flavors.  What started off disappointing finished a very nice brew.  For those in Baton Rouge, The Cove will have this one on tap in their front bar on Wednesday... just be sure to request a room temperature glass and take the time to let it warm up to unleash the full range of flavors.

My rating: B for this one.

 

 

Thanks again to Eric Ducote over at The BR Beer Scene for letting me show off his stuff. If you guys are looking for some great beer reviews make sure you check him out!

The Sounds of Silence

On July 1, 1979 Sony introduced the world’s first low-cost portable stereo called the Walkman.¹ This tiny device changed the world of music listening forever.

First off, I am a fan of all things music. I love to listen to it. After all, I do work in radio and I am a DJ. However, I’ve noticed some things that have really started to irk me.

I was trying to read a book today and couldn’t concentrate because different music was being played in almost every room of my house. It was so loud and so confusing that I had to go outside to enjoy something that many of us are unfamiliar with nowadays; silence.

Why have we become so accustom to having so much noise all the time? Everywhere we go we hear people listening to music. Most of the time people have it playing so loudly that it sounds like they don’t even have headphones on, and there are fewer and fewer people who are actually polite enough to even still wear headphones.

Almost every electronic device we own plays music now. We can’t make it 10 minutes without hearing someone playing music through their cell phone or computer or tablet or GPS system. Even though the speaker quality of most of these gadgets suck, we choose to listen to something shitty over listening to nothing at all. Are we really listening? Are we really allowing the music to take us away? Or are we just looking to be distracted?

I feel like I am the only person my age who enjoys falling asleep in silence. I feel like I am the only person who does my laundry without having to have music playing in different rooms, just in case I have to leave the basement. I used to think that having a stereo or TV in the bathroom was a joke. Now it’s a reality.

What has caused this? Why do we have to have something always stimulating our ears? I remember going outside with my dad, as a kid, and enjoying the sounds of nature. We didn’t need to hear music. When we went to bed we didn’t need the TV on. We didn’t need to play everything so damned loudly that the neighborhood could sing along.

Music is supposed to take us on a journey. We are supposed to disappear into it. The same principle applies to TV shows and movies. We are supposed to use entertainment as a momentary escape from life, not as a soundtrack to it.

Sometimes, we have to play our music just to drown out everyone else's. I can’t remember what if feels like to just have the natural sounds of life play by themselves. I used to fall asleep to the filter in my fish tank bubbling calmly through the night. Now, I can hardly hear it over the newest Katy Perry single. Nothing against Katy, but she should not be played after 10:00PM unless it’s at a bar or party.

I know I haven’t really proven anything here, but there’s nothing to prove. We all have the minds of a two year old. We need to be constantly distracted. If you don’t believe me, try and take a vacation away from your music and TV and movies and cell phone games and Facebook. I dare you for one week to turn it all off. Books are allowed. So are newspapers and magazines. Why? Because they force you to sit down and think. I doubt you’ll be able to pull it off. Think you can? Try. Let me know how it goes!

1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walkman

How to Write a Craigslist Personal: Part 2

According to an article on Wikipedia, shut up it's more accurate than the Encyclopedia Britannica, an independent source found that"over 90% of eHarmony couples had marriage quality scores which were above average when compared to couples who had begun their relationships elsewhere. eHarmony couples were more than twice as likely to be in highly successful marriages than non-eHarmony couples. Not only are eHarmony couples 35% more likely than other married couples to report that they enjoy spending time together, but we found they are nearly twice as likely to report that their marriages are "extremely happy" or better versus other recently married couples.

Wow, sounds like finding love online may have some benefits. Let's tone it down a little though. After all, we are talking about Craigslist here. If eHarmony is the Kobe Beef of dating sites, then Craigslist hovers around the Spam area. That doesn't mean you can't find someone online. You just have to put your best foot forward. Here's rules 6-10.


Rule 6: Be Original

I know this one sounds fairly obvious, but after years of living, I have realized that there is no such thing as obvious. Most of you are stupid. Sorry, it's a fact. 


Do you like movies? Music? Hanging out with friends? Going out for drinks on the weekends? Really? Guess what? You've told us absolutely nothing. Why? Because everyone likes doing those things. You need to find a way to make yourself standout among the sea of mediocrity. Think of it this way. When you go out with your friends to the bar, what do you wear? Probably something that you think you look great in. Something that makes you stand out. So why wouldn't you do that online? Give yourself a chance to be noticed. That leads us to...


Rule 7: Be Honest

I have seen a ridiculous amount of people lying all over the place online. Why would you do that? If you are serious about meeting people, they will find out the truth at some point. Don't tell us your 30 when your 35. Don't tell us you are of average build when you are fat (see rule 1). Don't tell us you have a job when you don't. 

All of these lies happen and they happen a lot. I'm sure there are tons more out there too. If you want to be successful in love, lying is always a bad idea. So don't do it online either. 

Rule 8: More Info on Pictures 

I know I already said not to put up nude pics but after seeing so many awful clothed pics, I decided to give you some guidelines on those too.

Please don't take a picture in the mirror. It tells us two things. One, you are too stupid to figure out how to take a picture of yourself and two, you are such a loser that you don't have any pictures already taken of you. I don't care how sexy you think you look, taking your picture in the mirror makes you look like a 14 year old girl on myspace. Oh, and if you use the flash... Find a cliff and try and learn to fly.

Guys, keep your shirt on. Yes, I know it's kind of like the penis thing. If you have it flaunt it, right? Wrong! When you go out to meet people do you walk around without your shirt? No. Having a picture of yourself with your shirt off makes you look like a cocky jackass. By the way, why are you fat guys taking your shirts off at all? The thin guys can argue that they have muscles, but it looks like you are actively trying to not find someone. 

Girls, stop making duck faces and taking pictures at weird angles. Duck faces make you look like you just drank lemon juice and weird angles won't make you look thin (see rules 1 & 7). Are there ways to make you look thinner on camera? Yes, but you aren't a professional photographer, so knock that shit off. We want to know what you really look like. 

Why can't you people just take normal pictures? We want to see what you look like. We don't want to see your friends, or your ex, or the deer you just killed, or how cool your tattoo is, or how sexy your pimped out yellow cavalier is. Do you see where I'm going? We want to see you! Just you.  

Oh, and one more thing. If you don't have a picture in the post, don't ask us for one. Sorry, you wrote the post. If you want a pic in our response, show us one up front. I know, you're embarrassed at the fact you are posting on Craigslist (see rule 10) and you don't want anyone to find out, but it's just rude that we have to put everything out there and you don't. Think of it this way. If you go to a skanky strip club and get spotted, the person who sees you is there themselves, so they have nothing on you.

Rule 9: Learn to Write

I've seen more beautifully written posts scratched onto bathroom stalls than on Craigslist.

Now do I mean that you have to be perfect? No! I probably have typos and grammatical errors all over this thing. However, for the most part, you can understand what I am saying. If you are looking for a smart, intelligent, somebody, don't make yourself look like an idiot. Read the post over a few times, don't just rely on the spellchecker, and for God's sake spell the entire word out. If typing a post takes up too much of your time, then so will a relationship.

If you are looking for ass, no one will care. But, if you are looking for love, only fellow idiots will respond. We've all spoken to people who are below are pay grade level mentally and most of the time it's annoying. No one wants to date an idiot. 


Rule 10: Don't Use Craigslist

Yeah, yeah, I know, but seriously. If you use Craigslist to find love, you are an idiot. People who post there break all of these rules all of the time. Why? Because they are idiots. They are usually desperate people who can't find love because the spend all day trolling the personals instead of going out and being social. Why would you want to date anyone like that? If you want to use online personals check out Plenty of Fish. It's free and not as stupid.


Final Thought:


People are social creatures. It's in our blood. To be happy, we need to be around other people. Go out. Do things. You'll meet people. Yes, most of you relationships will end in failure, but that's life. If you are too scared to really put yourself out there, then you aren't really ready for love anyway. Stop trolling through a sea of just pure shit and start looking for something great.


Is this post serious? Not really. I just saw a lot of ridiculous things you people put on Craigslist and it pissed me off. Trust me, I'll rant about our collective stupidity later.


Think. Discuss. Comment.

How to Write a Craigslist Personal: Part 1

I have nothing against looking for love online. 

An Oxford University study suggests that nearly one in three of us who use the internet have visited online dating sites. An international survey of 24,000 men and women who are presently online found that just six percent had gone to dating websites in 1997 but by 2009, 30 percent of the sample had tried them with 15 percent finding their current partner that way. (Full Report Here)

After one of my buddies found a great girl on the personals section of Craigslist, I began to wonder how often that happens. My curiosity led me to all of the different personal sections of Craigslist and just an fyi, some of you people in the casual encounters section are sick. The first thing I noticed is that there are hardly any women under 60 posting. The next thing I noticed is that all of the men seemed completely lame. After reading some great, but mostly horrible Craigslist ads, I have come up with some general rules to follow to make sure that you're ad sells. And yes, it is an ad and it does need to sell. If you think of it in that way, you are a step up above most other posters.

This is a two part blog. Sorry, but I don't feel like typing all day. Deal with it.

Rule 1: Don't Tell Us You are a BBW  

We know that BBWs (Big Beautiful Woman) exist. They are basically woman who, if thin, would be considered hot. Unfortunately, they happen to be overweight, but usually they are still pretty. Most of you aren't BBWs. Sorry, it's a fact. There are far more ugly people in the world than there are pretty. So when you tell us you're a BBW without showing us a pic in the ad, you're really telling us you're just a fat chick who lies.

Rule 2: Don't Tell Us You've Never Done This Before

First off, we know you have. Most people who cruise the Craigslist personals section do so a lot, so there's a pretty good chance that you've done this before. I know, there's a first time for everyone, but just like when a woman or man tells us during a one night stand that they never do that kind of thing, we don't don't care and it only makes you look more shady. We're obviously looking for someone or else we wouldn't be skimming through personals.

Another thing, if you are going to lie and say that you've never done this, don't use abbreviations at all in your ad. I actually saw someone put:  SDNSDDFVGLBBWWF4SNSDDFVGLWM4LTR Which stands for Single, Divorced, Non-smoking, Drug and Disease Free, Very Good Looking, Big Beautiful Woman (see above), White, Female seeking Single, Non-smoking, Drug and Disease Free, Very Good Looking, White male for a Long Term Relationship. (I had to look these up) She was also 48... Something tells me that she hasn't found what she wants yet. Which leads me to:

Rule 3: Don't Be So Picky

Okay, like I said before I am completely cool with looking for love online. I have friends who have found husbands and wives online and they are all very happy. However, most people who spend all day online looking for love do so because they have had difficulty finding it in the real world and yes, no matter what you may think, there is still a difference. Sometimes this is because they are too busy to go out and hunt for a mate. Which brings up the question why do they think they have time for a significant other if they find someone online? But that's a different argument altogether.

Most people looking for ads can't find people in the real world because there is something off about them. They lack the essential social skills involved in impressing members of the opposite sex. Chances are, you are one of those people. It's pretty much a fact of life that people date at their own level. So, if you are a 5 don't ask for a 10. You probably couldn't land a 10 in real life, so why try on the internet? Not to mention, there aren't a lot of 10's reading personals because they are already taken or not interested in you (gay). I rate myself a strong 4.

Rule 4: Nude Pics

This one is mainly for the guys. If you are looking for a real relationship and not just a one night stand, leave off the dick pic. I know, your dick is the biggest, most beautiful, thing that God has ever created, but no one cares. Not many girls really want to know what your penis looks like. Why? Because they are ugly. Sorry, but men are only built for function. We leave the beauty to the women.

Ladies, you can listen to this part as well. Even if people respond to your ads with nude pics included, are they responding to you or your nudity? You may be able to pick some men or women up, but how many of them want something serious? No matter what you say in your ad, a nude pic tells everyone that you are just looking for sex, which is fine if that's what you want. However, hardly anyone respectable looking for love will respond.

Think of it this way. When you hook up with someone at a bar do you start a relationship with them after? Not usually. The same rule applies here.

Rule 5: Keep it Short

This is a personal ad, not a biography. Chances are, if your ad is longer than a paragraph no one will read it. Not only is it going to be boring, but it cuts out everything you would talk about on your first date. Just let us know a little about you. Leave some mystery. Tell us who you are and what you are looking for. Think of it as a radio or TV spot. If it takes longer than 30 seconds to read, your audience will change channels. I know, everyone's life is interesting, but you don't buy biographies of people you've never heard of.

We're done with part one. Leave comments! Part two should be rolling around next week!